I am grateful that hi-tech made Grace possible & angry that doctors want to interfere so much afterwards in the birthing process. I was labelled "high risk" because Grace was my first child & I was older. I live in a small town & when I interviewed doctors about their beliefs about birth it quickly became apparent that I would have to deliver at a distance from home if I wanted to avoid IV's, episiotomies, & the C-Section mentality. I was fortunate - I found a midwife willing to deliver me about 1-1/2 hours away from where I lived. She was WONDERFUL, a CNM with experience & knowledge willing to fight for what I wanted (in Ohio midwives MUST be supervised by a doctor - many of whom are traditionalists in a negative way.)

I believe that birthing is a natural process, a woman centered process, a private experience best done in a calm atmosphere. Bright lights, drugs, doctor's exams, heaven forbid - video taping! - are not for me. I read a lot about birthing (I especially liked Sheila Kitzinger's & the Sear's books) but I absolutely DO NOT BELIEVE in breathing techniques or LAMAZE classes. I DO believe in a healthy (not obsessive) diet & that your baby feels what you feel & that some relaxation/imagination routines are helpful. I found a hospital with a great "homey" labor-delivery-recovery room, low-key nurses accepting of midwives. (I was open to a home birth but it wasn't available in my town & not at my age.)

Grace was a breech baby from the get-go. I didn't experience the many kicks that other moms did. I had a very hard time figuring out where head, feet,arms were located. She hiccuped a lot. I did physical & mental exercises to try and "turn" her. I even had a version to try to "turn" her. It failed. Breech babies are almost always automatic C-sections today (they don't even train physicians in how to deliver breech babies) but my midwife searched high & low for a doctor willing to deliver my breech baby naturally. She found a "high risk" practice willing to consider natural delivery PROVIDED the baby was under 8 lbs est. weight (Grace was), I had enough pelvic room (I did), & the presentation wasn't footling (it wasn't.) Interestingly enough, all the physicians in this high risk practice were trained in South America. They had all seen breech babies delivered naturally.

I had to agree to a different hospital (labor & deliver in one room, recover in a shoe-box room) and a lot of monitoring. I had multiple ultrasounds required by the back-up physician (first they were worried about a low-lying placenta, then maybe a foot abnormality, then about her weight to length ratio, and on and on.) I was scheduled for an ultrasound the day before Grace was due to re-check the presentation. It was determined that my amniotic fluid was low & an
induction was recommended. I wasn't ready to face the slippery slope of medical intervention & asked for alternatives. They required a stress test (the baby & I passed) to avoid an induction. I went home.

I was very restless that night but finally fell asleep about 1 am. I woke up at 2 am with very strong contractions. I called my midwife - when did they start, how far apart & long are they" she asked? I said: "They just started, every 5 minutes or so -maybe 20 seconds." She said "keep track & call back/leave when the contractions last a longer." I called my husband at work (he works 3rd) & my mother (she was my doula.) My husband got home & said "let's go!" I said "the midwife said to wait longer." My husband said "it is winter & we have a 1-1/2 hour trip - let's go!" I thought about it & said: "well, I don't know if I could handle the trip if the contractions get much stronger so OK let's go."

The trip wasn't bad at all. We played my relaxation CD (Tranquility), it was dark & cozy. I just clutched the shoulder belt when a contraction hit. I called the midwife with my cell phone when we were about 20 minutes from the hospital (what the heck - she needs sleep too!) We arrived at the hospital & went straight up to maternity (we had pre-registered.) My midwife met me at the entry looking like she had run every red light between her home & the hospital.

The midwife said: "Well, let's check you out. Remember, most first time labors are about 12-13 hours so don't get discouraged if you slow down a little now that you are in a hospital setting away from what is comforting & familiar to you." So I got up on the bed & heard her say "My God - you are 90% effaced & dilated already!" I said: "That's good, right? - maybe I can have this baby in the next couple of hours or so." She said: "Just walk around, take any position that seems comfortable to you. I'll notify your doctor & get the hospital routine started."

So my mom put my Tranquility CD in the player, turned down the lights, threw my comforter & pillows on the floor & helped me into my birthing PJ's. My husband settled into the rocker. I walked around until a contraction hit & then would crouch on the comforter on all fours & rock or cling to the wash stand & rock. My mom & I had practiced some massage techniques but I had major back labor. As soon as a contraction hit I couldn't stand having ANYONE touch me. "Just, "BACK OFF!" I told my mother. So much for massages. "Push" said my midwife. "How do you PUSH?" I said." Go sit on the toilet & pretend you are going to the bathroom - that is PUSHING" said my midwife. So now I know how it feels to PUSH.

It is now 6 am and I feel like I am close. The midwife looks but doesn't touch & agrees. In walks the doctor. He looks amazed at my comforter & pillows. "OK, let's see how you are doing" he says. Up on the bed I go & spread my legs. "OUCH!!!!!!" The doctor does a pelvic exam in the MIDDLE of a contraction. I am in agony. This is worse than the labor. I break out into a sweat. He asks for an echo exam (ultrasound). Yup, the baby is descending fine. (Why the invasive pelvic when he was going to do an ultrasound anyway I'll never understand.) Out he goes.

I am now inclined on the bed trying to recover from the exam. I shake. My mother, furious, puts a warm blanket around me. I rest, the contractions begin to fade away. About an hour passes, I feel more rested. My midwife comes to my side & whispers "It is OK with me if you just want to let your body push the baby out but I am afraid that if you don't try to push on your own & the doctor comes back & doesn't see any progress that he will want to intervene." I tell her: "That's all right. Let me get up again & walk - I can't push on this bed."

So, I get up & walk. IMMEDIATELY, I feel another strong contraction. I walk into the bathroom & sit on the porcelain throne. I push. The delivery nurse walks in & takes my hands. "How are you doing?" she asks. "I feel her head" I said. The midwife can't believe it is happening so fast. She grabs her beeper & runs for the doctor (midwives are NOT supposed to actually DELIVER in Ohio & this is a BREECH baby!)

"I think I am going to have this baby NOW!" I told the nurse. What if she falls into the water?!" "That's OK", she said cheerfully. "We'll just fish her out!" I start to half laugh-half cry. The nurse says - "I better spread some towels here - I don't think you are going to make it to the bed."

My midwife comes back in & sees the nurse spreading towels on the bathroom floor "What are you DOING? She can't have her baby there. Come on, walk to the bed Theresa, WALK!" "I can't walk," I insisted, "YOU try to walk with a football between your legs!" The midwife turns around and yells for my husband. "Help carry her to the bed!" My husband is a pretty strong guy. He literally lifts me up under my arms and deposits me on the bed on all fours just as the baby slips out into the midwife's hands butt first. This isn't very dignified I thought -how embarrassing. I felt SOO cold. My mother lifts the baby onto my chest but I am shivering so badly that I can't even see my little Grace. It is 8:10 in the am.

The midwife offers to let my husband cut the cord but he demurs & my mother leaps to volunteer. I am still shivering & trying to see my baby. The midwife delivers the placenta. I hadn't realized that there would be so much blood & body fluids. The midwife examines the placenta carefully & then me. I have 2 very small vaginal tears which she recommends be sewn up. I agree. While she is stitching the delivery nurse puts Grace to my breast. She sucks but I can't feel anything letting down. Am I supposed to? Is she getting the colostrum she needs? My mother says to just bond & not think.

The doctor rushes in & surveys the scene. "Well, I guess I am not needed here," he says & walks back out.

Don't believe everything your hear or read. Every labor is unique. Nothing I read seemed to hold true for my labor. I had NO sensation of dropping, very little bloody show, no early/mild contractions. I was BANG into hard labor RIGHT AWAY. Even my contractions didn't seem to follow the pattern. There was no build-up & fade-away. They were strong & brief. How do some women sit in a rocking chair? I never even dreamed of a shower or bath. NO breathing helped me through the contractions. I couldn't stand to be touched while contracting. The only thing that worked for me was imagery. I would imagine my baby waiting for me on a island while I floated through the waves(contraction) towards her. The pain? Manageable. I had a contraction, it hurt, but it went away. I trusted that my body was designed by nature & God for just this event. It would not let me down. It didn't. The doctor did. I am CONVINCED to this day that if he had just LET ME ALONE that my labor (only 6 hours) would have been shorter by an hour or more. I lost all that precious time from the pain of his UNNECESSARY exam. DON'T LET YOURSELF BE EXAMINED INTERNALLY JUST TO "CHECK YOUR PROGRESS." Any competent nurse (like my midwife) could tell just be looking & knowing my body signals how I was progressing.

Well, that is my birth story. I still believe that birth is a natural process. If you believe that your body is designed for birth, then barring a medical emergency like a prolapsed cord, trust it! Women having been giving birth for millenia without the help of men/doctors. Under sanitary conditions, in a calm environment, your body will deliver your baby for you & the pain doesn't need any special relief. Breech babies are born the world over, NATURALLY, even footlings, & the body will deliver! C-Sections are not required! Episiotomies are a medical disgrace and even ACOG acknowledges that they are unnecessary. If there is any lesson in my story it is to stand your ground. Everyone around me except my mother felt I should just take the doctor's advice & resign myself to a C-Section. C-Sections are MAJOR surgery being passed off as MINOR & women are buying into that verdict. DON'T. I was lucky. I had a midwife that believed in me & searched for a doctor & a hospital that would let me try. I was that hospital's FIRST planned natural delivery for a BREECH baby. (You would be surprised how many unplanned breech babies seem to make it out just fine!) You can do it too!