I think what surprises me the most when I see a "bucket baby" is that I personally long to go and pick this baby up and love him/her--doesn't the parent want to do the same?  It is possible that some parents get so involved with other everyday things that they can so easily ignore their baby's basic need to feel loved and secure by being held?  I think that many parents feel pressured in some way by our society to not "spoil" their baby by holding it often. Instead they think they can somehow force the child to become independent by separating themselves from their babies, right from infancy.  They don't want the baby to "get used to" being held, fearing the baby will then want to be attached well into childhood and never become independent.  Extensive research has shown, however, that filling a baby's needs during infancey/toddlerhood will create a child that feels "right" and "whole" and will be more independent and self assured as they get older.  

Why should I wear my baby?

A woman carries her baby for 9 months, loving and being one with her infant.  Yet, once the baby is born, many couples feel compelled to start introducing mechanical contraptions on a regular basis (ie., swing, bouncy seat, car seat, etc.) to take the place of what they as parents should be doing–holding that baby in their loving arms and giving him the security and love he instinctually craves.  When you wear your baby, you are in a sense extending his/her womb experience and helping your baby adapt to the new environment. Your baby is familiar with your walk, your voice and the rhythm of your heartbeat. Babywearing is an important part of bonding and meeting the needs of your baby.

Is it not possible to hold your baby too much. Recent studies show that babywearing provides many benefits to both parent and child. It allows the parent and child to know each other and get in synch with one another. You will see the happiest and most behaved babies are those who get to stay closest to their parent. And why not? Most parents who wear their babies are so in tune with their needs they can usually fulfill their babies need before the baby cues them for it. The art of babywearing is practiced and encouraged throughout the world and finally becoming more and more popular in the United States. Recent studies have shown there are many psychological benefits to wearing your baby. Here are just a few:

*babywearing reduces crying and fussiness 43% during the day and 51% at night

*babies who are worn experience more sounds and sights and they in turn thrive better because they are less bored, secure and relaxed.

*babywearing in a sling protects the baby from too much environmental stimuli

*babies who are worn are less fussy because their physical needs are being met full-time

*fulfilling a babies need to be held and carried in infancy have a lesser need to be carried or "clingy" when they are older

*babywearing helps to rear a smarter baby since they are experiencing the parents changing surroundings, hearing the parents voice, seeing the parents different facial expressions and interacting with the world around them

Babywearing is also convenient for parents since it allows them to still be active and fully meet the demands of their day. This is especially beneficial if they have other children. Not only does it make life easier, it cuts down on sibling jealousy since it enables both hands to be free to attend to the needs of other children simultaneously. Parents who work out of the home also enjoy wearing their babies. It helps them connect and get in-tune with their baby quickly, making the most of their time together. Another great thing about babywearing is that you allow the child to move into each stage of independence by themselves. For example, many babies who are not worn are constantly tugging at their parents pant leg wanting to be picked up. It is the reverse scenario for a worn baby. Instead, the baby cues the parent when they want to be put down and explore their surroundings and gradually move into their independence on their terms. Of course every child is different and some are ready earlier than others but babywearing prepares the child and equips them with a wonderful sense of security and self independence that will last them into adulthood.

What do I wear my baby with? 

There are many different carriers and contraptions on the market today. Personally, I have tried, many different carriers and I have found the "sling" to be the most comfortable, cost effective, versatile, safe, easy and most economical of them all. The sling has numerous positions you can put your baby in depending on your childs individual needs. This is a nice feature since as the baby gets older, they crave different positions and views and it is extremely easy to use. The sling can be used from infancy into childhood and is designed to carry a child for long periods of time, although it can also be used for quick trips or errands too. I have personally tested it with a child that weighed 45 pounds and found the design of the sling distributed the child’s weight evenly throughout my upper torso which eliminates sore shoulders and back. There are many different brands of and many other optional features that is individually designed on each different brand. You need to research and try a few before making your final decision. Don’t be hasty about choosing your carrier. This is the most important parenting product you are investing in and you need to make sure the carrier you choose is right for you and your baby.

Don’t be pressured into creating a "bucket baby". Instead, wear your baby and be proud that you are doing what is best for your little one. We as a society need to stop following the leader when it comes to parenting and do what our instincts are screaming for us to do—pick up and cradle our baby’s. Love them, cuddle them and hold them until they cue YOU to start their independence. Trust your heart, instincts and your baby, and you can’t go wrong.

Tammy Frissell-Deppe is a fourth generation attachment parent and has two children with her husband William. She has recently published a book entitled, Every Parent's Guide to Attachment Parenting.  Tammy is a Medical Information Specialist as well as an attachment parenting expert and she tours the country speaking and educating parents and parents-to-be on the different aspects and benefits of attachment parenting. Tammy's articles have appeared in many different newsletters and journals and she continues to help and support hundreds of attachment parents weekly.