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CONSTANT CONTACT by Jennifer VanLaanen-Smit Probably the most important need of a newborn after good breast milk is constant contact with mom.
Babies need to be held, for they are completely helpless and also express perfect contentment when they are cuddled close to mom.
I prefer sling carriers to front or back carriers as your baby’s spine is not strong enough to be in the upright position until
he can sit up by herself, even after that I like to relieve the strain on his back by using the sling. The cradle position is soothing,
mimicking the womb. Another advantage to a sling is slips easily over your head, with no snaps or buckles, allowing you to use it off
and on throughout the day. When your baby falls asleep in the sling you can gently ease the sling onto the bed, maneuvering him from
your body to the car seat is easy too, there is no need to take him out of the sling, just slip him, sling and all, into the seat,
and buckle him in around the sling (this works best with unpadded slings). To take him out of the car seat, just put the sling back
over your head to your shoulder and gently lift.
It is easy to breastfeed your baby in a sling, allowing you to nurse discreetly, hands-free. I keep my baby next to me, nursing on demand,
slinging my baby by my side while he sleeps during the day, sleeping next to him at night (or him on my chest), even carrying him with me and nesting
him between my knees as I do tasks during the day. When my babies start to wriggle down to try crawling around, I let them. But when they are tired,
hungry, or hurt, they make their way back to me to be held.
One of my favorite reasons to wear my baby is that other people won’t ask to hold him. I feel that part of our bonding is in him feeling
secure and trusting me, when my child is old enough to decide he wants to go to the librarian, produce man, my friend, or whoever, it will be
her decision when she is comfortable enough to do so or not.
And I never feel worried that my baby will be stolen. Unfortunately this is happening more and more nowadays.
It is also wonderful to be able to hold my two older children’s hands as we walk in town, cross streets and
just enjoy ourselves, while my baby is close to my body in my sling. It is much easier to walk with my baby in my sling than it is to maneuver
a stroller or carry a plastic baby carrier through crowds of people, up stairs, over curbs, in doorways, through isles, etc.
Jean Liedloff in her book THE CONTINUUM CONCEPT-
goes into baby wearing in much greater detail, than I do here. Although I cannot quite agree with Liedloff --"Baby care is a nothing to do"--
because cutting carrots, scrubbing a floor, and carrying a hot pot are all very much complicated by having a baby in your arms. I still find the
investment in my little one worth it, and I recommend the practice to all new mothers. When you consider that our cuddly new baby will only live
in your arms 6-9 months, carrying him does not seem so interminable. You can share the cuddling with siblings and your partner.
I use sling carriers and just my arms to hold my little one close. I believe in the tribal saying that the first 9 months outside of mom the baby
is still connected to her and needs to be close to her during this time. This constant contact nourishes the baby . . . and the mother.
I hold my babies with me in the shower, there are shower (mesh-like) slings available, but I hold my baby with one hand when he is strong
enough to hold his head up. Using one hand to clean and wash your hair and body gets easier each time. Your baby will get slippery if you soap him up,
keep a firm hold.
I ran into a friend whose second child is now 14 months old. I recalled that when her child was an infant, I told her that when he turned a year old
things would get easier for her. I thought about that comment today. And I understand why I said that more vividly now that I have my third child.
It is because I parent in-arms. Things are more difficult to do; I do things slower with a baby strapped on me or in my arms. When the baby starts walking
and is not held as much, it is amazing how much I can accomplish, how quick I can be. It is a challenge to chop up fruit or vegetables with a baby grabbing
for the knife, their arms have a huge span as they knock bowls of salad off the table, spill glasses of water, grab the books off the shelf as you walk by, grab
the bag as you try to stuff tomatoes in it at the store, etc. I laugh when it happens; it is all you can do. They never mean any harm, they are so very curious is all.
And once the baby can walk, I find things are a lot easier, and get ready for the new challenges and adventures, such as wandering off in the store. At least this time
I will have two other pairs of eyes and arms to help me.
I do cherish my in-arms time even if it does make me go slower and it isn't as easy. But it is worth it! I love, absolutely love having my baby next to me.
I feel naked without him there. We are still attached with the invisible umbilical cord. And wearing my baby reminds me of my priorities and what really is important
day-to-day, minute-by-minute- I stop rushing, slow down and see more- feel more. It is very Zen. These gentle souls are important, my laundry can wait.
My babies can see the world with the safety and closeness of being in my arms, and they can see everything at adult level, not down low to the floor staring at knees and
feet and being pushed into them as they sit in a stroller. What would you prefer? Plus the added bonus of not needing to find space for my stroller to park it or maneuver it around,
the stairs are not daunting and my sling is light and easy to bring every where we go: to the beach, the mall, on boats, historical places, hiking, picnics, grocery shopping, farmer's
markets, swap meets, historical landmarks, playgrounds, and the like. I always keep a sling in the car and one in the house. With a sling, you can carry your child easily up to three
years of age and longer if your child isn’t too heavy for you. Slings are easy to fold and carry with you and to keep in the car and/or diaper bag. When you go on an outing where you will
be walking for some time, keep the sling handy and give your child’s legs a break every now and then. Your child can just sit in the side-hip position or be on your back. Think of baby wearing
as part of your exercise regimen. They can even fall asleep on you and it is not so burdensome to carry them. With older toddlers we have used ours for times when we are waiting for our luggage
at the airport, hiking, walking throughout the zoo, shopping at the mall or at craft fairs, going to carnivals, exploring museums, long walks on the beach, etc.
To get started, put the sling on and then cradle your baby in your arm, put your babies bottom in the sling first, then her feet, then her upper body and head. As soon as your baby is in the sling-
start walking. The movement will help her get used to being in it.
Sarongs or Bedsheets: Take any long sarong, or a twin or queen size flat sheet. Fold it lengthwise, and then fold it lengthwise again. At this point you will have a long strip of fabric. Find the middle of the length. Place the thickest fold "down" on the hip of the person who will wear the sling. Bring one end of the folded sarong up behind the person's back and over the person's opposite shoulder. Bring the other end up in front them, across their body and tie the two ends of the fabric in front of the shoulder, so that the knot is in front of the shoulder, and the fabric is spread out a bit across the shoulder and across the back. Don't tie the sling too tightly, leave a bit of "play", which can be snuggled up after the baby is in the sling. This creates a "pocket" of the sheet, into which the baby will be put. Hold the baby on one shoulder, with one hand. With the other hand, pull apart two of the layers of the sling, and guide the baby's feet in between. Holding the sling open, use the other hand to allow the baby to slide down slowly into the sling "pocket". Newborns will snuggle into a ball between mother's breasts. This is fine... They can be adjusted a bit so that the knot or the fabric helps to support the head. A rolled up washcloth works well, too, to support the head. Older babies will go more "off center", toward the hip, and may want to be looking out more. They can sit in the sling facing mom with legs hanging down or facing out with legs crossed in the pocket. Once baby is in place, the knot can be loosened slightly, then the sling can be snuggled so that the baby stays easily in place and mom feels secure. Once a good fit is achieved, it is unnecessary in most cases to repeatedly tie and untie the sling, as it can be simply slipped off over the head and slipped back on the same way. If the fabric slips, it can be safety pinned with diaper pins or sewn in place once a good fit is achieved. If desired, for a lighter weight sling, a twin or queen sheet may be cut in half lengthwise and hemmed down the cut edge. This will only need to be folded once. It would make two slings, and would be a good thing to do with sheets from a second hand store like Goodwill or the Salvation Army. This technique can be used to make a hip carrier, but the toddler may be more comfortable sitting on a hip and having the fabric go just under his bottom, rather than trying to sit inside of the "pocket". Once the wearer had tried this a couple of times, it's very, very simple. To nurse in the sling, the fabric on the inside can be pulled down to expose the breast. To allow the baby to see out, the fabric on the inside can be pulled up to reduce the amount of fabric on the outside.
To make a hip carrier out of a length of fabric, simply tie it in a sash, with the knot in front of the shoulder, and sit the baby on the bottom of the sash on the hip. A long strip of fabric can be turned into a back carrier by placing the middle of the fabric behind the child's back and bringing the fabric under the child's arms. The child is then placed high on the carrier's back, with the parent leaning forward a bit. The ends of the fabric come over the carrier's shoulders, cross in front across the carrier's chest, and then wrap around behind the carrier, over the child's legs, and then tie under the child's bottom in the middle of the carrier's back. This allows the child's and the carrier's arms to be free while securely keeping the child on the carrier's back. This is a cozy carrier, and does not displace the carrier's center of gravity to the same degree as a backpack does. It also distributes the child's weight in such a way that the carrier does not have to "hunch" over to keep the child in place the same way they would with a "piggy-back ride". It's a comfy way to carry a walking child who is a bit too heavy for a sling. Another way, is to take the fabric and fold it into a triangle. Place the child on your back as above. Put the middle of the fabric in the middle of your back over the child. Again bring the two ends under or over the childs arms, then over the carrier's shoulders and cross the ends over the carrier's front. Bring the two ends behind the carrier and tie together with the triangle's point under the child's bottom. Another way, is to take a long strip of fabric like a sarong, place your child on your back piggy-back style. Place the sarong over the child's back and under his arms. Bring the fabric around the carrier under her arms and tie a knot over her chest. Grab the other two ends of the fabric and pull it tight under the child's bottom, then around the carriers waist and tie another knot. A reboza (a very large woven scarf) can be slung over one shoulder and tied at the opposite hip to tie a baby on, similar to the bedsheet sling. Or it can be folded and tied in front of the shoulder. There are a number of other possible carries with it, but I am not sure how they are all accomplished. Jennifer VanLaanen-Smit © 1999 jvanlaanen@netscape.net |